By Claire Nelson Christmas is a time of the year which is marked by much merrymaking-shopping, parties, family get together and such. But for some it is a time marked by loneliness, sadness and depression. They may have lost a spouse to death or divorce, or a child or parent. They live alone and have few friends. The children have all moved away. They have lost their jobs. For whatever reason they don’t see beauty in the lights…they don’t hear the voice of angels in the Christmas carols. It is said that more people commit suicide at this time of the year than any other. CHRISTMAS signals days of activity or inaction, 12 months of pain and prevarication or pleasure and procrastination; a time for assessing our accomplishments and failures of the year just past.
At this time of the year, we spend a lot of time on review. They are countless-Time, Newsweek, Washington Post, 60 Minutes and so on. And what would a review of 2007 reveal? The world appears to be gripped by horror after horror, crisis after crisis, war after war. This year has seen continuing devastation of countries and societies by hatred…and intolerance. The rise in RACISM, SEXISM and all the other isms that create schisms that continue to divide humanity by class, race, creed, color, religion. The growth in lack of tolerance defies the logic that says with increasing knowledge should come increasing wisdom. Me versus you, you versus me, and God for us all. Why? Why? Why? Why can’t we all get along? What is it about the human condition that cause us to continue to stake out territory -- black against white, poor against rich, gay against straight, Jew against Gentile? Why can’t we all get along?
We can’t get along because we have yet to live the meaning of Christmas. So now you ask…what IS the meaning of Christmas? Is Christmas to celebrate the birth of Christ a prophet, a great man, a fanatic who changed the face of history, the son of God, a shopping season, a hallmark holiday? What is the meaning of Christmas?
Christmas is about love. The Christ message is -Love ye first one another as you love yourself. And that is the crux of the matter. We don’t love ourselves. We must first learn to love ourselves. Look in the mirror and say, “I love my eyes…I love my hair…I love my nose…I love my lips.” Hug yourself and say, “I love me.” Not with the arrogance that says I am better looking than my sister or brother, or more brilliant than my co-worker, or richer than my neighbor, but with the knowledge that we are all equally birds in the flock of the condemned. As we are born, so shall we die. We are all souls migrating from host to host in search of peace. Forgive others who have trespassed against you, and forgive yourself for all the little wrongs that you have done. Love yourself. And then let love enter all your relationships.
Leo Buscaglia asks some 96 people about how they view a loving relationship. Here are three of the responses:
- A loving relationship is one in which individuals trust each other enough to become vulnerable, but secure that the other person won’t take advantage. It neither exploits nor takes the other for granted. It involves much communication, much sharing and much tenderness.
- A loving relationship is once in which there is a mutual caring about the growth and progress of each, where possessiveness gives way to offering the other to be his/her own person, where selfishness gives way to selfless giving, sharing and caring, where the lines of communication are kept open, where the good in each is maximized, the bad minimized.
- A loving relationship is one in which you accept the other person at the moment as a whole and receive the same acceptance.
To truly love someone is hard. It is hard because to love is divine and we, most of us, are struggling to be human and humane. It is hard to love your boss who treats you like the lowest bug on the evolutionary scale. It is hard to love your spouse who nags all the time about what you are doing wrong. It is hard to love your sister or brother who always manages to make anything that goes wrong your fault, or your friend who borrows money time and time again and doesn’t pay back. It is even hard for some of us to love ourselves, and it is with self that we must begin. Self is the beginning and the end. We are born as Self and die as Self. We do everything ultimately for Self. We must love our Self so that we can love someone else.
Deepak Chopra tells the story about the great photographer Alfred Stieglitz who was a little boy at the turn of the century born to a well-to-do family in New York City. One cold January evening, an organ-grinder showed up on their door stop begging. Little Alfred, 8 years old, got up and ran out to give the beggar a penny. The next day the beggar turned up at the door. The same thing. Alfred runs out and gives him a penny. This ritual continued day after day, through hail, snow, and sleet. The family was very impressed, and one day Alfred’s mother told him how impressed she was by his charity. Alfred looked up in surprise and said, “But mama, I’m doing it all for myself.” A selfless act with a selfish motive.
Love is both selfless and selfish. To love your neighbor as you love yourself is hard, but with practice it gets easier. We can learn to give up the need to be always right, the need to always be first, the need to be in control, the need to be perfect, the need to possess, the need to manipulate, the need to blame, the need to dominate. With practice we can give up these needs and learn to give and receive love.
Love is the meaning of Christmas. Two thousand years after the birth of Christ, despite the fact that we can touch the moon and see the face of Saturn, we have to learn to love. Love --the ability to love-- is the only thing that separates humanity from the lower animals, for love gives us the ability to create…to conceive. Whether we are Catholics, Protestants, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, Yoruba, Bahai, atheists, I think we can all agree that there is some life force that makes us all human. Whether you call it GOD, SPIRIT, ALLAH, UNIVERSAL TRUTH, whatever -- this life force connects us, makes us all brothers under the skin so that we are our brother’s keeper. This life force makes us both human and divine, and our main purpose here is to learn to love. To believe in Christmas, is to believe in love and the power of love. So this Christmas, amidst the music and merrymaking, despair and depression, in the stillness of your soul, consider the meaning of Christmas and try LOVE. In doing so, consider these seven principles, one to practice everyday, but especially on the last week of the year from Christmas day to the 31st - The SEVEN PRINCIPLES OF CHRISTMAS:
Value yourself. Affirm yourself as an individual with a divine center. On this day you will make a conscious effort to think only good things about yourself.
Give of yourself. Don’t be afraid of giving. Give, give yourself and then when you are tired, give some more. On this day you will go out of your way to do something extra, for someone you love, without being asked.
Acknowledge the humanness of others. That irritable woman at the checkout counter is human too. The security guards at the front desk, even the boss you love to hate. On this day, greet someone who you normally ignore.
Seek first to understand rather than be understood. On this day you will resolve to listen more and to speak less. Listen even to the silences.
Ask not what you can get from a relationship. Instead, ask yourself what you can bring to it. On this day, take care to do something special for someone special in your life without being asked.
Expect what is reasonable, not what is perfect. On this day you will meditate on three things you ask from the people who are closest in your life. Then meditate on three good things that they bring to you.
Count your blessings. Acknowledge that LOVE comes to us from a higher source and that source is never-ending. On this day you will meditate on the blessings that you have received in your life. Choose one every waking hour.
Take time to live the spirit of Christmas, the spirit of love. Let this spirit take hold in your heart, mind and soul…to give and to receive. The love you seek is within you…it is all around you. LOVE is the source of all things. LOVE is the beginning and the end. LOVE is the meaning of Christmas.
Posts
